Horrifyingly Horrible Horror Flicks

Day 17- A Horrifyingly Horrible Horror Flick That You Are A Closeted Fan Of?

The Blair Witch Project | Cosmopolis

I must admit to this one, I am a fan of The Blair Witch Project. As lame and stupid as the movie is, it terrifies me every time and makes me wonder why I love it as much as I do. Something about the movie always resonated with me in a way I’m not sure how to put? I’m seriously questioning my reasoning sometimes.

When I was in elementary specifically around 4th-5th grade, after I finally saw the movie when I would wait for the bus I would purposely find sticks and make the stick figure pattern on the ground. So there would be like 2-3 of them lying around and I’d form up rock piles. I’d make sure they were big enough to be noticeable by the kids on the bus and would only do it around October. I was a strange kid to say the least. I just really loved horror films as lame as they may have been. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know and love classics as well.

One of my favorites is The Exorcist. I read the book before I watched the movie and don’t shame me, yes, the book was better. Still love Linda Blair’s performance in the movie and give her props for having to endure that style of acting at such a young age. Ironic her last name is Blair, don’t ya think?

Halloween Memories and More

Day 16- A Halloween Memory or Things That Make You Think of This Time of Year

So I thought I was wanting to listen to KoRn’s album “Take A Look In The Mirror.” Got two songs through and decided it was a total Lacuna Coil and her album “Comalies” kind of day. It’s an Autumn album for me definitely. It started to bring back memories of high school again and so I decided to roll with it and see what surfaces.

I can honestly remember listening to the CD in my Walkman sitting on the bus and pressing my head against the cold glass and getting lost in the words. It was a favorite during this time of year. It also reminds me of Daniel, he was the one who introduced me to her beautiful voice. I’d take her over Evanescence any day. It’s so weird to feel this way sometimes, like I’m having trouble staying in the front because this is normally Autumn’s time and I feel her so so close. These are more her memories than mine, so without further adieu, she will take the floor now.

I don’t mind being co-conscious Bets, you’ve got some good memories too, don’t let me take all the credit. Silly. Anyway. I remember this one time when I had kidney stones really bad and had to go to the hospital and then they sent me home with Hydrocodone. That’s when I really started becoming obsessed with pain killers and just feeling good. I’d pop a couple more than I should and lay on my loveseat and listen to this CD among others and feel real good. It’s kind of nice now because I get prescribed Xanax and take it every day so that calming, don’t really care about anything feeling is familiar.

This also throws me back to when my best frands, Emily and Kristin would come over and we’d have sleepovers and put on outfits and take emo pictures. Those were some fun times, I will admit. I wish I would’ve appreciated that time a little more when I had the chance. High school did have a lot of great memories as dark and gloomy as I made it seem. It’s the honest to God truth, you don’t know how good you have it until you get older and realize adulthood SUCKS.

Another really good memory I have is taking off of school on Halloween as a tradition my Mom and I had. I mean, come on, it’s a holiday that needs to be recognized! We would always go to Party City, Spirit Halloween, and any stores we could find with all things Halloween in it. We would follow up with lunch and taking a walk somewhere scenic. Mandarin Park was a great place. It has up and down memories for me. I still frequent it when possible. I take my good over the bad there. Even if the last memory was bittersweet.

I’m not sure exactly how I’m feeling at the moment. My emotions are a bit lost. It’s like it goes from content, to feeling nothing, to a bit of sadness, and then the rotation starts again. Makes me think it’s time for that Xanax.

I’ve been thinking about a lot of ideas to write about and now it’s starting to overflow and it’s like, I’m not sure what to write about.

Oh oh oh, I do want to share what Autumn wrote this morning around 3:30. (We are very co-con at the moment so it sometimes gets confusing for new readers. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder or Multiple Personality Disorder) She is so good with words when it comes to Patrick and how I honestly feel about them (He has DID as well). It’s also pretty awesome because she has her feelings of when she knew him in high school as opposed to the ones I now have of him and it’s a crazy whirlwind of giddiness and teenage puppy love. Of course, that doesn’t overtake the main feeling. Completeness. Finally.

From the beautiful mind of Autumn:

I can’t stop thinking about you and all that you mean to me. It’s like I’m in some three-fold utopian dream. Meeting you was like a 1 in 292.2 million odds and for some unknown reason, I won the lottery. The grandest prize of them all and as much as I want you all to myself I want to share your love with the world. You are someone whom I never thought would go after a woman like me. I’ve got a lot to give, so much to offer, and I want you to know I’m giving it my best shot this time around. I may be a little worn, tarnished and scuffed but you make me feel like a treasure hidden among the sea. Dropped into deadly waves and brought back to shore, rubbed off and handled with proper care and making me feel even more beautiful than I was before. I love when I’m restless and I just can’t sleep because that’s sometimes the most creative sparks and my mind can go pretty deep. It always comes back to you no matter what the outcome of my overthinking may do. It’s such a blessing to feel the love I feel from you. That’s all I’ve got in the countless amount of words that are still left that I’ll proclaim until my last breath. I love you with everything I am and I’m sorry if it’s not a lot. I can’t fathom walking through this world without you by my side if you’re okay with that. You’ve given me more of a chance than already been deserved and I won’t take losing you or I’d honestly go crazy for good. Thank you for showing me the way life was meant to be. Safe, secured in your arms, always holding me.

Dress Up

Day 15- If you could only wear one halloween costume for the rest of your life, what would you be?

I know this may seem strange, but I knew right off the bat what one it would be. Vanellope Von Schweetz from Wreck-It Ralph. She is super spunky, has a great sarcastic humor, and a little bad ass. Loves to race and live life in the fast lane. I love it. She is my ultimate costume for life.

Not to mention, little man got to meet her when we went to Walt Disney World. I love this so so much!

The Embrace

Day 14-Share a Spooky Poem With Us

This is actually a poem I did back in high school about a True Crime novel I read called, “The Embrace: A True Vampire Story,” by Aphrodite Jones. It’s all about Roderrick Ferrell and the Vampire Clan murders. This was my way of doing book reports back in the day. I loved poetry and still do.

The Embrace

An innocent smile
Good at all she did
Was not a trouble maker
Until she met him
The ultimate sin

He made her believe
That she could leave
Back to the past
Out of body experience

To be called immortal
And have that back tracking portal
Loacted in his mind
Made him seem like one of a kind

She bought into what he sold
Now is a loner
Along with him in the cold

Wearing black
Communication lack
Especially with the oustide world
They were in one of their own

Slice to lettings
Which brought uncontrollable feelings
Making her feel invinsible
Like she had no principles

Now embraced
Pail goth face
Attracted to her master
Wanting to take action faster

Bringing others under his wing
Just thinking it was a vampiric fling
Turned out to be the real thing

No more acting
In role playing
His words he spoke
Thought he knew what he was saying

Brought along three more
Through his immortal door
Into his vampire coven
Thinking he could control them

It worked quite well
They fell under his seductive spell
Thinking they were just like he
Is all they wanted to be

His plan was about to unfold
Since he had them told
They were running away for good
To live together in the Louisianna woods

Back to the girl
Whom complains about her folks
Now he starts to make killing jokes
He’s got a plan to get her to go along
Even though the idea is so wrong

So him and his friend
Sneak around the bend
Grab the car keys
And try to flee

Leaving her parents blood stained and soaked
I guess it was no joke
They hopped in the stolen car
To meet the three
With a grin on their faces
Happy as can be

A murder they committed
Getting away was pure luck
Now on to get the girls
From the pick up truck

Traveling upstate
Thought they were in the clear
So he told the girl what they had done
And the adrenaline rush made it all the more fun

Shaking in fear
She didn’t want to be here
Looking away
For she had nothing to say

Scared and hurt
But lost in her thoughts
She couldn’t do anything now
They’ve gotten so far
Couldn’t turn around in the car

She held on for the ride
Locking herself deep inside
Until they got were they needed

A phone call was made
Accidentally traced
Their smiles then fade
They can’t believe the mistake they made

Sentenced they all were
Declared crazy and insane
But Rod Ferrell wouldn’t
play that game

Immortal he was
From the day he became
The police knew he was a liar
His statements were lame

Heather Wendorf got out later on
When they finally realized
She wasn’t like the other guys

She was brainwashed and torn
For she was never warned
Of her parents killing

It wasn’t her fault
But Scott and Rod’s alone
The other two girls
Known as Charity and Dana
Only got one phone call

They were sentenced for a while
While the guys were told of death
But I guess that’s turned into a myth

Still not dead
Even to this day
Maybe they shouldn’t have
Played the vampire game…

Carved and Painted

Day 13-Best Pumpkin You’ve Carved or Painted?

I believe this was two years back and I made Roly from Hey Duggee. He was very into that cute British cartoon and that was his favorite character. Whatever Eddie wants, he gets.

This was one of last year’s painted pumpkins. I got requested a Deadpool pumpkin, then proceeded to get asked the differences between Slade Wilson and Wade Wilson. Deadpool and Slade do look very similar. Smart little boy. Haha. He is my comic boy all around. Doesn’t matter what universe, he loves it all.

So here he asked for a Harley Quinn and Joker themed one. (There is only so much artistic talent I possess. lol) He was and really, still is, obsessed with The Grinch and Max. Of course they had to make an appearance and he was super excited about it to say the least.

Eddie asked for the bat symbol as his carved pumpkin last year, so it’s what we did. We’ve got his big pumpkin to carve and four little ones to paint this year. I know I’ll definitely be sharing them when we take next weekend to do them.

I did have to share this in memory of Pops. I think this is the best picture of all. He was Eddie’s best friend and taken away from us WAY too soon. I love to cherish and remember these happy memories, because you never know how much time you really have with someone. We love you Pops.

Short and Sweet

Day 11-Favorite Halloween Candy

Whatever this is, I want because I’m a HUGE fan of Kit Kats and M&Ms!

Day 12-How You Act When Watching A Scary Movie

A lot of the times it’s uncanny the resemblance to the face I make. It’s kind of a cross between, “What the heck?!” and “Uh…that’s disturbing.”

Blogtober Day 10-Bittersweet

Day 10-Most Sentimental Costume You’ve Ever Worn

As odd as this may seem, I want to share exactly what I wrote On October 11th, 2013 about the night of October 31st, 2011.

“In 2011 I went as a ‘sexy’ Cubs baseball player, I also worked at WD Liquor store at that time. I had been working with Jonathan for about 3 months now and we seemed to be having these quirky connections. I have to say I looked pretty good and when he came in that afternoon to work the rest of the evening with me his eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head.

I am not one to really show off much of anything because I was lacking confidence in myself, but his reaction made me feel pretty good. I then asked him why since I wore my baseball outfit why he was not wearing his cowboy hat, jeans, button up, and boots we had agreed on when texting the night before. I guess he didn’t think I was up for the challenge so he grabbed his outfit from the car and changed and man did he look freakin hot.

We flirted all night and then it came down to, ‘Well..I really have nothing going on tonight, you ..uh.. wanna hang out?’ So we ended up going on our first official date to a local bar and had such an amazing time. We played a couple rounds of pool and had a few drinks. He got the nerve up to playfully slap my behind and hell, I wasn’t complaining. He ended up planting his cowboy hat atop my head and it made me feel warm inside…but it could’ve quit possibly also been the booze.

It actually got quite cold that Halloween night and when he dropped me off that night I sat on the back of his Monte Carlo and he pulled me in close to him for warmth. He stayed like that for a good half hour to forty five minutes and then he saw me off to the front door. Never kissing, I felt like he had a lot of respect for me, but damn did I want to so bad.

That was the beginning of what I hope to be forever, we now are living together, happier than ever. Best DAMN costume I EVER wore!”

I do admit, it’s hard to read over some of the stuff I’ve written in the last decade or so because I thought we’d still be living out forever together. Maybe there were signs back then that I missed all together and would eventually lead to us full blown alcoholics and divorcing. The main reason I drank was because we were so conditioned in it from the beginning that it later overtook us completely. When he was saying to me, “It helps me to function and feel normal,” I should’ve known what was coming next. When I was with him I felt like I needed to drink to be able to deal with all the bullshit that was our “life.” He was pretty much a drinking buddy roommate by the end of our relationship. This is NOT what I wanted and I believe if the alcohol was NEVER involved, this wouldn’t be the end of our “forever.”

I do not regret any decisions I’ve made on how to go about this as it only benefits my son and myself. I can’t stand back and witness the destruction of my son’s health, let alone mine, and be okay with it. In all this hectic mess, I did find something, more like someone, unexpectedly, that has helped me more than I could’ve ever imagined possible. So there are good and bads that came of the end game.

Now if you really want to know, there is a part two to this story that I’ve never told anyone or written down. Jonathan and I were not a couple that night, he didn’t ask me out until November 5th, 2011. I remember I was pretty buzzed by the time I hopped off the back of that crappy Monte Carlo and was walked up to my door. Little did he know when I went into the passenger side of his car, I texted Jarrod to see what he was up to.

Jarrod I had known since 2008 and met him through my boyfriend at the time then. He’s been my best friend ever since. We still check up on each other to this day. Again, not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

So, Jonathan left and about two minutes after he did, down the road came Jarrod to pick me up. It was still early, Halloween doesn’t end at midnight. So I got into his heated suv and he put on our favorite band, Blink 182 and we were having our jam session. We threw back a couple more and ended up behind a Panera Bread about fifteen minutes away. By that time it was probably 3:00 in the am and we were pretty lit. We tend to have a theme when we hang out and we are either, A. single or B. In troubled times with a significant other.

Needless to say, into the back seat we went and sloppy, drunk sex it was. Never failed. I remember how upset I was at Jonathan for literally turning his head away from me when I went in for a kiss and how rejected I felt. That’s when I felt myself begin to change and my emotions just stopped and I went into “fine be that way” mode. I should’ve known about my mental health then, but perhaps chose to ignore it. I remember wanting to get back at him behind his back because he hurt me without even knowing it. I was a horrible person back in the day. Young, dumb, and full of cum as they say. I had a vanity problem and thought if someone turned me down, well, that was on them. I had plenty of others who I could hook up with. It makes me cringe to be able to feel these feeling so prominent like I’m in that moment. DID is no joke.

So after we were done and got dressed he took me home and I did end up with my goodnight kiss. Just not with who I wanted it to be in all honesty at that time. Man, I’m fucked up.

So Random

This picture started something that I enjoy doing so much and so I want to document cute little moments that make me happy. I sent this picture to Patrick in a message and here is how the rest played out as we continued to make up band names:

Patrick: Cooler Than Absolute Zero

Me: Everybody Likes 3.14

Patrick: Square Root Of Zero

Me: Physically Sound

Patrick: Light Speed Centigrade

Me: Scientific Flow

Patrick: Dark Matter Experiment

Me: Kinetic NRG

Patrick: Black Hole Theory

Me: Exerted Forces

Patrick: Mass X Acceleration

Me: Chemical Resistance

Patrick: Periodic Table Of Sound

Me: Scientific Law Breakers (Straight Outta Chem Lab)

It’s these little silly times that I cherish because it’s just honest to God clean and stupid humor that I love. It is also nice having another sound mind that is pretty intelligent and able to do a back and forth with me. The more I get to know him, the more I am starting to feel comfortable and open. It’s almost like this is the way I know I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life. I’ve never felt this way before. I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time and I’m still not through the murky waters yet. I don’t think I have to be drowning in it anymore, it’s not my scene.

I’m already excited about what tomorrow brings. The weekend is ours and I enjoy every moment we have together. He found a huge bin full of Kindergarten level books for Eddie and I am so excited to go through them. His love for him makes my heart do backflips and flutter all around. Normalcy can be obtainable, doing it in the right way helps tremendously. I can’t begin to explain how thankful I am that he came into our lives.

Blogtober Day 8/9

Day 8

Blogtober: You know you are behind a day, right?

Me: Yes, thanks for sharing, I do have a life outside WordPress.

Blogtober: Right. So ready for your question?

Me: (Joe Swanson Style)

Bring it on!!!! - Joe Swanson thrill | Meme Generator

Blogtober: Yea..So what was one of your paranormal experiences?

Me: What paranormal experience?

Blogtober: I don’t know…it’s just one of my questions…

Me: Yea..I have none..

Day 9-Do You believe in Witchcraft (WICCA)?

The Craft Remake Cast Announced by Blumhouse – /Film

There was a time in my mid-late teens when I decided to dabble in this modern day paganism. Something my religion is completely against but you know, teens… Now I do admit, I love nature and it’s vibes. You know where Water, Earth, Wind, and Fire come from? The Spirit, also known as Abba, the Father, or God. He created everything and as fun as it may seem to be able to pretend to do spells and/or practice black magic (because you have that sinner side about ya…) But now that I’ve grown up and experienced the truths of the Gospel, it’s just child’s play now.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have a STRONG passion for being in nature, connecting with the earth, appreciating the beauty of the moon in its’ many phases, and certain times of the year. God blessed me with it all so of course I will reveal in His beautiful creation. I also don’t have to pray to false idols and build altars because the spirit of Lord lives inside of me because I claim Jesus as the one true sacrifice. He died for me to live an eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven and that’s what I intend to do.

So, I just have one question for you… What is this stupid fascination with Hocus Pocus? Have y’all not heard of Halloween Town, the superior Halloween movie? The Cromwells are where it’s at, Just sayin…

Revisiting 'Halloweentown' 17 Years Later: The Star And Director Share  Secrets From Set - MTV
“Bey nay mah, bey nay fear, bey nay ain, leadith mithom nay bid.”

“It’s a spell that was banned after the dark times. It was used on humans who mocked us by dressing up like creatures. It was used on them to turn them unto the very creatures they were mocking.
” –Agatha “Aggie” Cromwell ~ Creature Spell