Work Thoughts and 3AM Nonsense

So I’ve decided while I’m working today to let my thoughts run wild, see what I think about during the day, and see if I remember to write it down. Just thought it’d be fun to see where my mind travels during the day.

So, just a minute ago I was thinking, I can be my own person. I’m not judged at the moment by anyone and I’m living and loving my life the way I want to. To be able to have a clear conscious and feel able and positive in my every day, is something I haven’t felt since I was a kid. No joke.

Working from home can sometimes be dangerous, I’ve noticed. I try not to have other distractions but things are all around me. Background music, multiple screens, barking dogs, wanting to check emails or small group, reading devotionals or scripture to keep me going throughout my day, and WordPress. I’ve wanted to write for a couple days now and when I have that “slacker” feeling, I feel guilt. It’s not like I’m expected to write or have a deadline to put anything out. I just feel like I should? Weirdo…

What makes this humorous? We are discussing listening skills and making sure you show empathy. That’s me in a nutshell. The empathetic one. It’s weird to multitask because I’m still hearing my trainer and understanding and comprehending as I type. It’s wonderful.

Well, I just calculated how much I can spend a day. 42 dollars a day is not bad, if I do say so myself. Now will I? If I’m manic…YES. If I’m seriously trying, nope. I already used $16.00 today to renew my probiotics and I’ll be good on those for 3 months. See, responsibility. Not purchasing the $129.00 cart on my BoxLunch account? Responsible. Will I have the willpower, eventually, no. I need to stop making carts I can later on purchase. Ugh.

I just mentioned to Patrick I put more than half of next month’s rent in savings. I am so excited to move in with him. I can’t get over this excitement. It’s like random bursts of that dropping feeling in your stomach when you are on a roller coaster. I just keep daydreaming about simple things. Making coffee in my new Keurig in my morning, making him breakfast, desserts, and cooking dinner. Cleaning and keeping it neat. Having Dexter right by my side, all the time. I am SO looking forward to having a husky in my life again. He is such a big baby, I love my one-eyed Dexxy!

I’m getting into the part of my day where a headache comes on and I feel sleepy. I’m saving my Monster Java energy drink for tomorrow. I’m so excited to see my sweetheart tomorrow. I want all the hugs, kisses, and loves. I’ve been feeling like an emotional baby lately and just want to be held in his arms. I can only smell his jacket, wear his shirts, pj pants, boxers, and snuggle my stuffed animals from him for so long before I NEED his physical contact.

So we’ve got worksheets we do for practice. I enjoy them, makes the time pass, but some days I’m just not feeling them. Today is one of those days big time.

So it’s 3 am. Guess what ya girl did? Bought that cart on my Box Lunch account. I’m telling you, late night is not a good night. I mean, it is for me when I get surprises in the mail I forgot I even purchased. Bad for my wallet. I’m not worrying though, I’m confident in this “new” me. I can’t wait for it to get here. I got a V-day surprise for Patrick and myself. I never thought I’d do what I just did, but don’t worry, y’all will see a picture of it in February.

My thought was to go a head and continue this entry today at work as well, and I’m still contemplating. Do I want this to go up? Will I hold off like I held off on that purchase? So I’m going with no? No. Probably not.

I filed my taxes today. I am claiming Eddie this year because that’s just the way things worked out. I’m just happy this money is ACTUALLY going to go towards him and not anything else. I want him to know exactly what he means to me and the gifts he is going to bless this world with by the grace of God alone. I want my son to know he NEVER has to worry about being taken care of and now? That’s a true reality for him and I. Sad to say, whether it’s just Eddie and I against the world, or as a little family unit with Patrick. WE. Will. ALWAYS. Take. Care. Of. Eddie.

You can not serve both God and Money. Here’s my thing, God provides for the day. Every hour, minute, second. I honestly think I spend the way I do because I know I’m taken care of by my Father. Money and possessions of this world are useless. Treasures stored in Heaven are FOREVER. Who cares if I decided I want to collect all of the Disney things, coffee mugs, fuzzy blankets, books, Bibles, pens, journals…Whatever! It’s not going with me to my eternal Home. I would like to surround myself with things that bring me JOY and positive energy while I await my turn Home. I enjoy this clean, pure fun. It’s enjoyable in all new ways I never thought I’d come to know and love and cherish.

It’s funny how when you realize what you’ve put yourself through. You had to go through that experience to appreciate your life now. If not this life would be bland and predictable. We each have a script and a persona (or many) and we don’t get to rehearse. This is a one shot take. When we make a mistake, we ask for forgiveness and we pick right back up where we left off. Life is not perfect. It has no cuts or “Take 2.” It’s a never-ending script with plot twists and “I saw that coming,” or “I did not see that coming,” reactions.

It’s the most popular show on in the realm of spirituality and it’s starring all of God’s beautiful creations. The Director, The Producer, The Writer, The Narrator, The Plot Twist, The Decisions, The Solutions, The Word.

He is the most amazing author of all time. My love and passion for the written word, pen to paper, thought to action, eyes to page. Every part of it I endlessly love and it’s a gift and love that came from my Father. How beautiful is that? A scribe I will forever be, I know that’s my calling. Bringing men and women alike to God is my calling, just uniquely me. My job description that I already was hired onto before I even knew of my existence. We were all foreseen and believed in as He asks us to believe in Him. How much is that to ask? Not a lot. I can tell you that.

If you want to subscribe to a life full of simplicity, love, honor, and eternity, God is the Answer.

Mind Won’t Stop

I have this problem with “relaxing.” That definition is very foreign to me. I keep thinking I need to be doing something productive or cleaning, or something. I need to learn to take my day of rest and just do things that are enjoyable to me. Everyone needs their down time, right? It’s like I preemptively rush myself to get so many things done. Like 24 hours in a day are not enough. It’s not a race, it’s a marathon, this life thing.

I’ve started a new One Note for our next Bible study. It made me feel good. Whatever I highlight during the chapter I write out there and make posts from it. It is a new method and I’m just sad I haven’t thought about this WAY earlier. No time like the present, it sure is a gift.

Some of the thoughts that have ran through my mind since coming to Patrick’s have consisted of:

I need to find a less expensive place that does hard-wood laminate for this condo. I’ve been thinking about colors to paint certain rooms. Wondering what color Eddie would like to choose for his room that can be shared equally with Lylah. We’ve gone though Ikea and have so many selected choices to choose from. Have a Keurig for Coffee/Tea and one for Hot Chocolate. I get to have my own little corner that represents me. It makes me so happy. This place just makes me happy. The location, the setup, the way I feel when I’m here. Patrick a couple steps away from being in my arms whenever I need his touch. Life has become a literal dream to me. I feel like I float from day to day in this joyful, confused, and content haze. It’s different. I love it.

I have a freeing feeling that makes me realize I can do anything I want with my life if I put my mind to it. Things are possible, I just felt so sheltered. I needed out. I still have that feeling from time to time, but not as bad.

The cherry on top is when I can start driving again. I won’t be able to contain that happiness. I need to talk to Dad about getting my Kia Soul into the shop to see if it’s salvageable. Whatever the outcome, it’s not something that I dwell on, ever. Driving is a privilege and I don’t feel I deserve to drive because I’m afraid of my addictions still. I have to be honest about this. I think I’m just afraid of making the same mistakes and reliving it all over again.

My fears are only even slightly true unless I decide to partake in them. Sad as it may seem.

I’m tapped out, I went in the wrong direction. Good goin’…

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgfGw8iqnjo&feature=share

Nighttime Chat Part 2

Why is it that during the night I get a wired feeling from one to four hours? It’s so strange. I feel tired but my mind is just buzzing. My fingers want to go so many ways in what to talk about. I really had no plan to do this but figured if I’m up, why not see what’s going on in that ol’ noggin of mine?

I got to talk to Victoria today over VC. I always enjoy talking to her. The love and encouragement she provides is one in a million. She has a huge and heavy heart. It’s so cute what you observe when talking to people over VC because you can see their emotions and study their face when they talk. So much emotion and truth behind the human emotion, it’s crazy.

I’m so proud of her for moving up in the Ministry and being as highly dedicated as she is. I look up to her. Time seems to just slip by when we are talking. It feels like and hour and a half is only ten minutes. It’s the company you keep. I’m so lucky to have been given such a wonderful best friend and sister in Christ. Not a lot of people get this experience. God blessed us both and knew we would be each other’s comfort in trying times.

I have yet to say anything about that Aetna job I started last month. So I guess I will now. I REALLY enjoy what I’m going to be doing for this company. I’ve never felt more welcomed at a company and completely cared for. Mentally, Physically, and Spiritually. Yes, that’s right, spiritually. In our training class the majority believe in God and that’s a miracle in itself. I had the trainer reach out to me to talk about Proverbs 31 Ministries and pursuing a writing career. It’s so strange how He sets up these meetings.

The people in my training class are absolutely wonderful. Every one of them, quirks, and all. I feel like we could have our own television show with the way we all get along and feed off of each other. I have a feeling this job is not only that, but a start to a beautiful career for the time allotted. My sweet Patrick, you’ve helped me out in so many ways, this job is just one of them.

I’m watching my life fall into perfectly fit pieces and the puzzle has more than an outline. It’s finally revealed exactly what my life is becoming. Beautiful. Full of Trust. Honesty. Purity. Renewal. This picture is unlike any other I’ve seen before and I am the one to witness it and learn of some truths I didn’t think would be manageable in this lifetime. God is with us all the time and when we fully trust in him, then we can finally wake up.

Is there any other direction my mind feels like going tonight? Any body? The body is up for grabs, let’s go let’s go let’s GOOO!

Alright, hey y’all, I’m Zeus. I have curly sandy blonde hair about half way down my jaw. I’m about 6’0 tall, lanky, and brown eyes. I smoke and enjoy the feeling of being high. A lot. It’s probably the best time for me to think in all honesty. The truth comes out, I feel this sense of calm and appreciation for what’s been provided to me.

Just so you know while Zeus was introducing himself he completely slipped from my grip. Like I said, my mind is literally all over the place tonight. No wonder after I get my thoughts out I’m able to fall asleep. Praying helps as well. It’s a comfort to be in conversation with God and fall asleep. Like putting your head on his lap, talking about everything and anything and then the warmth makes you fall asleep. It’s a father-daughter bond and that’s beautiful.

Zeus is trying so hard to front and it’s absolutely ridiculous. I can hear his thoughts but they are faded and like he is jumping up and down because he is pissed.

Geez…okay, there we go. High. I’m Zeus. I am that carefree spirit that roams around inside keeping the teens in check. Somebodies gotta do it, might as well be me. My teenage years impacted my life the most. A lot of horrible things happened during that time and that’s why a lot of my alters are teenagers. My mind literally feels stuck around the age of 19 all the time. There are times I rarely can come back to age. Something really traumatized me and I feel like I can’t grow up and need to be protected all the time. I lost Zeus again as you can tell.

Coming back and reading these posts blows my mind because half the time I don’t remember writing these things. It’s fun to be able to read what another part of me was thinking or feeling at the moment. I try to be a subtle middle ground when it comes to the way I act. I am not a mean person, but I’m also beginning to learn not to take shit from anyone. My confidence boost went through the roof and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad yet. I feel the good pulling at me more but there is always that sense of darkness there. At this point in my life darkness has little to no hold on me. The positive thoughts and bringing it to God has truly impacted my life in ways I never thought possible.

I’m starting to feel tired, which was the whole point of this little experiment. I do have to get up at 6 because it’s entire body hair removal day. Like clockwork, every Friday morning at 6 I draw a bath with Epsom salt and avocado oil. I grab my razor and my phone and put on the Jennifer Rothschild 4:13 Podcast, and take some “Me” time for the week.

Sometimes afterwards I’ll paint my finger and toe nails or do my make up in another color besides Purple. Pretty much my signature color. My Elsa inside. Seriously. Who would’ve thought you could have an Ice Queen living inside you? I mean, I completely understand why I need her. It makes complete sense in my mind. She was left out and pushed to the side because of her “disability.” She locks herself in her room, isolating herself because she feels like she isn’t good enough for the world. Something is broken inside and I don’t know how to fix it, type deal.

Wasting away in poetry writing and short story telling on LiveJournal. Figuring out her sexuality and becoming this person who wasn’t really that person AT all. It was like a monkey suit to jump into every morning, zip up, and go about my day. Conforming to whatever I felt I had to so I could “fit in.” Pathetic. I just didn’t want to feel alone, abandoned, or judged. I made friends with every single click in high school and it’s only now starting to make complete sense to me. I swear, I learn something new about myself every day.

I think I’m going to go a head and let’s call it a night. You know what came to mind as soon as I typed that? The song Christoff sang with Sven in the first Frozen.

Reindeers are better than people
Sven, don’t you think that’s true?

Yeah, people will beat you
And curse you and cheat you

Every one of ’em’s bad except you.

Oh, thanks buddy

But people smell better than reindeers
Sven, don’t you think I’m right?

That’s once again true
For all except you

You got me, let’s call it a night. Good night
Don’t let the frostbite, bite…

(Any writing errors will be corrected in the morning. I’m flippin tired.)

Unloading Notes Sesh

I’ve absolutely got to unload my notes to this blank page. It’s going to just be a random list of things written, highlighted, thoughts, and you know, like a journal. Wow. Okay. No professionalism to be found at the moment, apparently. Without further adieu, because I always have to announce what I’m doing. Beat yourself up, Bets, why don’t you?

More Valuable Than Rubies

As women, many of us struggle with our self-concepts. First of all, we have to look a certain way. Our hair needs to be in style, our clothes fashionable, and our faces perfectly made up. When we step on the scale, we need to see numbers that are closer to one hundred than two hundred! At the same time, we need to juggle all the roles we fill.

We have to be on time, be efficient, keep our cool pay attention, and earn enough to help support our families. We need to be able to care for our families. We nurture children and older parents. We are faithful and sensitive friends, and we are loving wives. But that’s not all! We also have to keep our houses clean…prepare meal…volunteer at church and in our communities…and somehow stay calm through it all. Most of all, we want to make everyone happy. We want to do everything we can to make everyone like us!

We compare ourselves to those around us, who all seem to be doing so much better than we are at being pretty, smart, accomplished, loving, and loved women. We become discouraged and full of despair. We doubt our own value.

But Proverbs 31 doesn’t say that our value is based on any of these things. We are women of VIRUTE–women of strength and courage. It doesn’t say anything at all about our worth depending on how clean our houses are or how much we weigh. Or even on how much other people like us!

God doesn’t care about any of the standards we so often use to define ourselves. Whether we are overweight or slender, well-dressed or scarecrows, slobs, or tidy, professionals or stay-at-home moms, popular or social misfits, we are equally treasured. We are more valuable than rubies because God has filled us with VIRTUE!

Loving God,

You know how hard I try to be everything that’s expected of me. I wear myself out working so hard to be good at all the roles I fill. I truly want to be good at each of the jobs I do, both at home and at work. And I want so much to make those I love happy. When I start to focus too much on these things, though, I ask that You remind me to shift my attention to You. Help me to rely on Your perspective instead of society’s. Give me confidence in the strength you have given me–strength to love, strength to serve You, strength to do good in the world.

Amen.

Thoughts:

I feel like I need to write all of this out so I can re-read when I need these reminders. So let’s do it! This life was given to you so you could figure it out and then once there, live it fully on your “God Potential.” You know, the one you were given at the beginning of time. Unique as you are, love, you will go very far an do exactly what’s been called for you to do. Enjoy this, Betsi. Don’t take things for granted. This life was on purpose with a much bigger plan than our tiny little minds could really understand. I’m totally diggin’ the vibes, Pops. You always had amazing taste in music. I’m sorry for being stupid and not “getting it” right away before you passed. I feel like something special was given to me by you. I feel it deep down in my bones. I will continue the legend of traits and it’ll help those who need it. Lord, My God, what did I just open, you open, within me? It’s fantastic. Marvelous. I love you. The love and joy is overflowing and if this is just a glimpse of what Heaven has to offer, color me shocked beyond belief. Though I believe with every ounce of my…this vessel, MY SOUL.

My Best Seller Year

2021. You’re here and not a moment too soon. Let me tell you what I have in store for you this year…

Goals

Be happy. Duh.

Continue reading, writing, discussing, taking time with the Lord. He is the only reason we are exactly where we need to be today.

You make the decisions. No body else. Whether it hurts them, confuses them, or makes them not want to ever talk to you again. It’s just the way things need to be done.

Stay committed. Patrick deserves no less.

Trust in what the Lord puts in front of you, he knows you can pursue and flourish in all that you do.

Remember how awesome I am. Self-love baby.

Big news?

Sadie and Betsy integrated and now I just go as Betsi. It’s all very overwhelming, and I’m not going to lie, I feel different. I can feel and hear both voices when I think and when I speak and when certain emotions trigger from which part. I’ve never felt better. I feel confident, happy, and like I can finally be happy for the first time in forever.

Morbid, I guess, as this may sound, we decided on “Betsi” together. We didn’t want to keep any part of Sadie. The two words that bolden on the page the most is “sad” and “die.” So we dropped it all but the i, which still says the same thing, but “I” stands for integration and becoming this beautiful two parts.

We work well together, I must say. A glorious little swirl of oneself.

Happy DID Anniversary Fox Tales. This year, we are writing a best seller.

Co-conscious Conversation

Talk to me. Why did that scare you? YOU DON’T REMEMBER WHAT JUST SCARED YOU? Nope, guess I don’t. This is not going up. I’m not going to leave you. I promise you, okay? Trust me. Please. That’s all I want. I’m anxious. I don’t like to feel feelings. It’s so exhausting. It’s intense. I can sense when it’s going to happen and it just flows. I’m overpouring the water and it’s flowing in every direction. Why can’t I make it stop? I’m not going to drown. I am stronger than this. Betsi.

Betsi

Betsi

Betsi

Betsi

NO!

Yes…

Tell me what you want?

What do you want from me?

Is this really what you wanted to happen?

A little devil on your fucking shoulder, angel on your other shoulder. I don’t like the images I’m seeing in my head. Back to reality. But not really. Snapped out of it.

For only a second.

Until I came along and ruined your little song.

What do you mean by that?

Honestly, I’m just high.

Ahhhh… Yea, me too.

Betsi?

Yea?

I think we’re going to be just fine, you and I.

That’s all I’ve ever wanted.

Uh, What?

I honestly don’t know if it’s delirium from lack of sleep, food, and the copious amounts of daytime and nighttime Alka Seltzer Cold & Flu I’ve been taking, but I feel high. I’ve felt this way for about three days now. Floating, nothing hurts, nothing bothering me. A lot of times I can’t feel my own body, I don’t feel like I’m actually inside of it. The motions happen and I just watch. It’s so beautifully strange.

I wake up like this and my intent is then to write and put all these thoughts out there. I get comfortable and ready to let all that’s on my mind out and I draw a blank. Am I just not ready to reveal what my mind is in constant thought over? Why am I dissociating so bad all of a sudden. I was filled with so much happiness, not that I’m not right now. Don’t get me wrong, I feel numb in a good way. Like, a really good way. Don’tcha think?

I literally wrote that last paragraph with my eyes closed the entire time but it’s as if I could see it when I was writing it. I watched my fingers glide over the keys and the words pop up on my screen, but I swear, my eyes were closed. Or were they? This is fun. I like this feeling.

My body is so tired. I feel absolutely exhausted but my mind wants to get going. It’s firing on all cylinders and wants to go, go, go. All the time. My body just can’t keep up. I guess that’s why I’ve been treating myself differently lately. Putting good foods in, exercising, and trying to make better decisions mentally. I seriously feel like I’ve smoked right now. I wish I had smoke right now. Helps me to sleep and calm my mind.

Delusional and out of my mind. I’m not 100% here right now. Not one bit. It’s just a feeling and it’s hard to feel at the moment, so it’s strong. I have been trying to sleep and it’s not working because I’ve got SO much running through my mind constantly. It won’t stop. So many voices, so many thoughts, not enough time for this worthless vessel. It’s no joke, earthly things definitely have an expiration date. It’ll be nice when it can be replaced with my heavenly one.

I don’t know if I should post this because it’s not thought out, this is just like the “in between” time of dissociation and nothing is really making sense to me. Or too much sense, if that makes any sense. Yea, I’m going to post this.

Do you ever question your life?

Do you ever wonder why?

Do you ever see in your dreams, all the castles in the sky?

Got Your Head In The Clouds, Silly Girl…

I am soaring above it all, looking down and marveling in the beauty that my life is becoming. Tears of joy and thanksgiving fill my eyes and overflow in my heart. I just never knew a love like the one with you. It’s a rare masterpiece, a hidden gem, the X at the end of a treasure map. Surprising, exciting, glorious, and worth the wait. That is exactly what I found in you. Do you know the power you possess over this vessel? It’s extraordinary and glows brilliantly as the full moon sitting in the clear night sky. The sight is breathtaking and makes you gasp for the crisp cool air of winter. Snuggled warm against each other, in the safest embrace you could ever find comfort in.

All of it. I mean every word. I wish I could create a word beautiful enough to express the way in which you mean to me. That could never be possible. It doesn’t need to be, you are more than a description in a book. I feel my soul intertwine with yours when we are together. When you hold me, make love to me, kiss my forehead, and squeeze me tight. Such a majestic embrace you give. Like the most precious ring for a Hobbit, or the child worth fighting for. The meaning is inexplicable, unexplainable. You make me search for words that are descriptive but I just can’t find it. I’ve searched for you my whole life and I had no idea I was on the hunt in the first place. Lost and afraid. Running through the wet and muddy forest, stopping to shake the feelings of insecurity and self-doubt over and over and over again.

I don’t need to run anymore, I don’t want to anymore. There’s no reason. I want to stay put for you. The only commitment I’ve truly wanted to stay still and savor. I’m a diamond in the ruff that you picked up and made sparkle and shine once more. I may never have the words, but I can promise you I’ve got a love that you can never put a damper on if my light is sufficient enough for you.

I love you.

NO MORE HIDING

When I woke up, something was COMPLETELY different. I mean, so different I couldn’t stay silent. I’m done being told how to live my life and who to have in my life. So, let’s just say, today, December 16th, 2020, is The Fox Tales System “Life Take Back Day.” I am going to be exactly who I have always been and made to be closed off. I want to be seen for the true human being I am, and we are many.

I don’t care anymore what ANYONE thinks of me because I know that God is the only one who matters when it comes to judgement. I know it may disappoint some and make some not want to be in my life anymore. That’s not my problem anymore, it’s yours. So take me or leave me baby. I have BROKE these damned chains and I’ve unleashed my true potential and now, I’m going to take a hold of it and make it my bitch. I am going to shine so bright, I’ll make you go blind. The suns got NOTHING on me. The positivity that is radiating through me right now would be enough to choke a puppy. Don’t ask me where this is coming from, because I couldn’t honestly give you that answer at the moment. All I know is I am done being closeted and I am AWAKE.

I feel Clover hop and jump around inside, grit her teeth and nash at the negativity and demons in my mind. No one and nothing is going to tell me the way I should be living my life and have control of me. The holy spirit flows through my veins and my flaws are present, but damn if I’m not trying my hardest to be the best person I can. I am not perfect, I am the ultimate sinner, and I will never be without, but I can try my best every day to be the person God meant me to be.

I wish I could describe, in words, this feeling that is pouring out of me. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and I don’t want to stop having it. You know how you can become a born again Christian? I felt like I was born again to myself and not to anyone but me. God has shown me all I need to thrive and survive in this lifetime. It’s through HIM. Why haven’t I made this as clear as it is to me now? Why haven’t I seen the blessings he has placed in my life and not shouted out to the world of his glory until now?! Time to turn it all around.

I am alive. I am happy. I am deserving (even when we aren’t). I am ME.

Gaudete Sunday

JOY. Week 3 of Advent is Joy. This word has been following me around for the back end of 2020 and it’s been speaking to me more and more every single day. The word is plastered all over my room on the walls and decor. I honestly feel like the Lord is trying to remind me of all the Joy in my life and the Joy of rejoicing Jesus. That feeling of joy from God alone. Thinking about salvation, eternal life, the coming of Jesus. That overwhelming sense of Joy that is indescribable. That’s the Joy He is talking about.

It’s the only pink candle lit in the Advent candles. I like that it is represented because it is of utmost importance. He is a God of Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love. All positive. No negativity. That’s what I’m going to continue to concentrate on in my life, because when we focus on the faithfulness of God, we are bringing him great Joy.

I honestly never thought I’d make my 2021 the year of “Joy.” This is a new person who I’ve not become as familiar with, yet. She is great.

Heavenly Father,

This third week of Advent, let us remember that the good news of Jesus’ birth has the power to bring us great joy this Christmas season. Our joy isn’t dependent on what is going on in our life, in our world, or the people that we are with. It doesn’t depend on the gifts we give or the gifts we find under the tree. No earthly thing can ever give us complete joy. Our joy comes from you. That joy that flooded the hearts of the shepherds, the angels, the wise men, the hosts of heaven, and Mary and Joseph is the joy that still has the power to overwhelm our hearts with rejoicing. 

Those who gathered around the new baby were blessed because they believed that you had fulfilled your promises. Mary and Joseph believed and were able to feel the joy of holding baby Jesus in their arms. The shepherds and wise men believed the angles and the signs and experienced the great gladness of worshipping their Messiah.

Those who knew him and recognized him were overjoyed at the coming of Jesus. They saw the prophecies fulfilled and their fear was replaced with happiness as they gazed on the face of the one who would be their Savior. They trusted in your promises and their hearts were filled with gladness as they watched your loving-kindness manifested in the face of a tiny baby in a lowly manger. 

Father, you offer that same joy to us now if we know you and recognize Jesus as our Savior and Lord. You gave us a reason to celebrate when you gave us the unspeakable gift of Jesus Christ. You came to dwell among us. You went to Calvary’s cross for us. You overcame death and rose from the dead for us. You forgive our sins and give us eternal life when we believe in you. 

Our joy doesn’t come from our jobs, our family, our relationships, our finances, or our success. Our joy doesn’t come from what we have on earth or who we are with. Our joy is a gift. It is the gift that you gave us that first Christmas in Jesus Christ. Our joy is encompassed in our Savior, King Jesus. Flood our heart with joy this Advent season as we reflect on the good news of Jesus’ birth. In Jesus’ precious name we pray. Amen

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” -Romans 15:13 NIV