I never knew a CD could sound so good streaming through my buds into the memories of my mind. When I listen it helps me to learn just a little bit more about you. How unique you were and how beautiful your soul is. I feel close to you in these times and it makes the headache subside to a dull pain. I’m so honored to have memories with you. The things you have shown me and the things you instilled in my heart. You taught me that I am no longer this Loser I thought I was. I am very capable of reaching The Promised Land, as you have done before me. I Need A Miracle to make it through the rest of this CD without you. But I tell you what, Pops, I’ve got Good Lovin’ in my heart and a good man who taught me all about it. So put your guard down as a Friend Of the Devil, boy is he ever a friend of mine.

The tenth album of The Grateful Dead’s Broadcast Collection is one of my absolute favorites. As if you noticed the paragraph above, I mentioned the title of each in it. The happiness I feel in my heart right now is normally unattainable in this sense of my mind. Your love for music matched mine and I am so grateful for that. I’ve found another who shares such a special love for it too. He treats me well and he cares for me a great deal. I wish you could’ve met him. You could finally see my face stream with tears of happiness instead of the sadness you always saw in me. You caught the beginning of my pure bliss at the end when you were so sick… But dammit, you sat there with me and trusted to watch a Corey Taylor concert with me and I was able to show you one of my greatest loves. A man who resonated within my soul by the words that were moved through song in his beautiful voice. You let me show you who was with me during the troubled times, the ones where I didn’t think I was going to make it.

I am a passionate person, if you haven’t gathered that by now. My passions are what fuel my fire and my creativity. Chris, you know, it’s funny how I can so comfortably talk to you here as I know you are listening to this inner monologue. I can feel the little Louisiana spark when I know you are around. It’s uncanny the hold it can have on a person. The cajun train rearing its head to the station and the funky times roll on even with you gone, you really aren’t. Not in my mind. You are there, dancing those funny dances and jazz hands thrown up. You stamped my heart and taught me that life needs to be enjoyed and cherished. To cherish the things you love above all because you can’t ever take them with you. I’m starting to see it through your perspective and it’s brighter than I could’ve ever imagined.

I’m finally going to be happy and dance in the kitchen to a jaunty tune with the man of my dreams right beside me. I want to be the one to make a fool out of myself without a care in the world because it’s just that moment right then, right now, Chris. Thank you for opening up my heart to a life I never knew could’ve been possible if you wouldn’t have had those countless talks of greatness you knew you saw in me. If I had one wish, it would to bring you back for just one more conversation before we all meet again. It’s okay, I know, I hear it in the music you’ve left behind. And you’re damn right, I will always take care of your collection. -Bets

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