So last night I was having a conversation with You. It really made me start thinking and my mind started going all sorts of directions with the running topic. Why is it, when we have a dream big or small, we always have those little feelings of defeat that just make us spiral? I have fallen victim to this way too many times to count. I was also at a low point of my life when I thought that dreams and goals were unattainable for me. I didn’t feel I deserve any of what the Lord is so blatantly putting before me now.

The love and respect that I’ve come to achieve would never have happened if I didn’t put my full trust in the Lord. I will always thank Him for what he has shown me, the steps I’ve been needing to take in order to achieve these dreams and goals, and what is to come.

I was listening to Jennifer Rothschild’s 4:13 Podcast today and the topic was “Can I Know My Calling?” and it featured a beautiful woman of Christ, Paula Faris. These topics that keep coming out every Friday have been calling to me and yesterday’s I just had to listen to while dolling myself up for a long day of Quarantine Life. She was talking about how we know our calling because God places these subtle hints in podcasts, songs, sermons, things you see in your day, or through the ones you love most. These things don’t have to be biblical to be a message from God, or so I believe. You will be told through others things you never saw in yourself until one day you finally do.

You made me see the true beauty I possess when I look at myself the way you do, through love’s eyes. I’ve also been told my whole life, through teachers, friends, ministers, and other disciples that I am a wonderful writer and can explain things in ways that are beautiful. I never took the hint because my vision was so clouded by the abuse, the bottle, and countless reckless relationships. I just didn’t want to or just couldn’t see my potentials. Paula goes on to say that you will know your calling when you also love what you do. Two things I know for certain. I love God. I love writing. I love the combination and it makes me feel invincible to proclaim truths through my words.

“Your vocational calling is a vehicle for your faith calling.” Just one of the points mentioned and the three things you ask yourself:

1. What are you good at?
2. What do you love?
3. What do trusted people in your life notice that you’re good at and you love?

Mentioned above, I’ve already thought about all of these things and have asked myself these questions a long time ago. To me, that’s just sign enough that God is always listening and his plans are so much bigger and drawn out than our own. Did you really think I wouldn’t see this through? I’m here to tell you right now that I am going to see through all that the Lord has called me to do. I’m going to excel in it because I am backed by my Father. He’s in my proverbial corner and as many punches and times fallen to the cold hard ground, I’ve managed every single time to get up and fight. I am stronger than anyone, even myself could ever imagine. I feel like I’m in the winners circle and it’s such a revitalizing feeling.

My dream is to sit at a gorgeous desk with a full library behind me and write to my heart’s content. Make the words I love sound aesthetic and bring meaning for someone who truly needs to hear it.

“Give me a sign, show me the light, maybe tonight, I’ll tell you everything.” -Corey Taylor

I also know where I want the location of my library and it’ll come in my elegant walk with You through the rest of this journey. Together, hand in hand, listening to your sweet whispers and finally be where I thought I should’ve been long ago. This walk wasn’t meant to be made alone and it doesn’t have to be. I have every right to make these dreams come true and honestly, so do you. What is a goal or a dream you know needs to come to completion? Don’t ever stop chasing it, don’t give up, don’t let it defeat you. Stand up tall, put it in your sights, and just go for it. Nothing can get in your way but you.

“We have courage in God’s presence, because we are sure that he hears us if we ask him for anything that is according to his will. He hears us whenever we ask him; and since we know this is true, we know also that he gives us what we ask from him.” -1 John 5:14-15 GNT