Let’s start off with a positive.

I am in my element. I’ve had my chocolate hazelnut cream coffee with M&Ms creamer — believe me when I say, it pairs well. I’ve been able to get a couple things done and take time with the Lord. It’s a pretty big constant in my life now and the benefits are mind-blowing to say the least. Oh, and Dexter decided to take over the laptop because obviously, the million of belly rubs, sweet high-pitched nothings, and walk wasn’t enough. Never enough. I love that dog…

We are so close to October and it makes me happy. OND. Best months. I’ve decided I’m getting a little fluffy again and am going back on the Plexus regimen I was on before. It proved itself useful for betterment of my gut health. I’ve never had a good stomach. I mean, the countless bottles of booze, junk food, and whatever else I deemed fit to enter my body probably hasn’t helped over the past 20 years… I’m not saying I’m unhappy with what I look like, I’m unhappy with how my insides feel every day. I solely want to make my stomach not hate me so much anymore.

I’ve come to the realization that I will never have my 20 year old pre-baby figure anymore and it’s time to work on the inside. I love how I try to make it seem like I’m not unhappy with how I fit in my jeans or wish to present myself. Denial is a hell of a concept. These things should not matter as much as this world makes us want it to matter.

It really is silly the things we think are so important. Looking the best. Being the most successful. Having the most put-together family.

I don’t like the way this post is starting to go. Most times I’m pretty amped by what I’m writing about, but right now? I’m in a chill vibey moment and I am not looking to lose it any time soon.

Want to see a picture of my sweet little gamer boy? Of course you do…

Whenever I look at him, I melt. This world produces some ugly things, but the Lord produced a little miracle inside of me. That extra “fluff” and the stretchmarks that accompany it, worth it. It is legacy and represents what I was meant to be in this life. As much as I have tried to say I don’t measure up, God says I do. That’s made it pretty clear, I was blessed and he was given to me to raise up as part of a major plan. I’m excited to see where he goes in this life, the plans that are made for him. It’s going to be pretty awesome. I can tell you that.

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