Don’t think.

At all.

Think happy thoughts… What are those anyway?

Don’t think about Ikea. Don’t listen to any songs to remind you. Don’t think about where you work, Lord knows how close you are.

Shut it all off.

Pretend it’s all going to be okay.

So how, in some way, find out how to manage a panic attack.

Take his shirt out of the bag and hold it to your face, inhale deeply for three seconds and let the scent swirl through your head.

Remember it will be okay. The Lord has you safely in his arms. Safe. Never to feel the cold hard floor of a cell again.

Remember what’s like to be wrapped in his arms. The safest ones you’ve ever known.

Look in the mirror.

Ask yourself, “Why? Why did you do that to me? How could you do that to me? Huh, Bets… How could you hurt me when all I wanted was to love, be loved, and experience true happiness in my life for once.”

It’s your fault. Your demons are strong but Bets…your faith is even stronger.

He loves you.

Always will.

Calm down, steady your heart that beats passionately for his embrace. Remember his face. His lips… that kiss.

I’d die before I ever hurt anyone. Ever.

Completely shattered and broken to a point I’ve never known and all I want is the strength to come back from this hole I dug and threw myself in, bruised and battered.

Remember who you are.

The daughter of the King.

Write it all out to release the tension that stings the side of your head.

The stress of the unknown grips my chest. My heart beats for you. I will never give up.


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