Does anyone get excited as I do over Thanksgiving? As much as I want to say it’s been ruined, when I think about it, that’s not the case. We can all pin bad memories of tragic events to holidays but we can also cherish them for what they are and who is around us now. It doesn’t have to suck all the joy out of it.
This year Mom and I decided instead of doing Thanksgiving dinner, we are going to do breakfast. Two different casseroles — french toast and quiche. Our happiest memories have always taken place the morning of Thanksgiving as we traditionally watch The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I love the fact that we can carry on this tradition with my son and give him all the feels to grow up on.
I always think about Papa this time of year. This was his favorite holiday and not to mention his birthday. He was the father figure in my life growing up and it started my downward spiral when he passed in 2005. I was crushed, heartbroken, and looking for that familiar feeling of Godly compassion only he was capable of providing. My relationship with my dad just wasn’t ideal.
I’m trying to keep a positive spin on this year when things have felt impossible. Thank God it’s all possible through Christ and the strength he provides to make life manageable. I give all my thanks to Him for everything He’s ever done or provided to me.
I’m so thankful this will be another sober holiday. Normally we would kick off the week with a two-day pregame and then wonder why we didn’t quite remember the actual day or eating any of the food. I can’t help but think of those memories because it makes me thankful for what I do have now. No, we aren’t hosting or cooking, but I know it’ll be a sober small gathering that will be worth every minute.
AA has been going well for me. I’ve only been to two meetings so far, but the location of this one in an actual church is a blessing. I’ve done my fair share of meetings back when I didn’t take any of it seriously. Heck, I was drunk at them with my ex-husband every time. This time I feel the urge to work the program and am pretty sure I’ve found a sponsor. I’m excited to do this right and see the progress. I can already feel it when I’m there, the religious presence is completely enveloping the room the whole time. It gives me a desire to share, but I feel as if God is making me patiently wait until it’s the right time. The liquid courage in me in the past would share anything and everything because that’s how drunk me rolled.
It’s strange the mixed emotions I get when I go. The only reason is that I’m seeing it through sober eyes and a non-judgemental mind. It’s nice. I seriously thought this couldn’t be for me, but I think God has other plans. I’ll take it!
I hope everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving and a heart of gratitude for what you do have in this life. God bless.
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