I’ve been fighting myself so much recently and am at a place where I’m letting change take over. I believe in the power of the Lord, my strength, to show me exactly how beautiful this life can be.

I woke up this morning around 7:45 a.m. and was honestly surprised at the time. I haven’t been waking up past 9-10 a.m. because of the new dosage and medication I’ve been prescribed. I don’t have to worry about sleeping anymore, it knocks me out and I’m totally fine with that. Waking up is a little tricky because it leaves me dizzy and foggy. Once I start my day and get going and enjoy a cup of coffee, the symptoms settle and I’m able to focus on the day ahead.

However, I fought myself for an hour to get out of bed and go on just a thirty-minute walk around the block. I’m trying to hold myself accountable for getting exercise each day in some form. Walking has always been my favorite, it’s just getting started that is difficult. I also was gifted a new bike by my Dad and Mom for my birthday. Early presents are so much fun and the ride is so smooth. I also enjoy swimming with Eddie. I’ve got plenty of ways to get myself moving.

Once I finally got dressed, earbuds in, and my mental state right … I headed out. Now, Florida at 9 a.m. is NOT the ideal weather for doing anything, unfortunately. It was already 83 degrees and the sun was beaming with pride. I made my way around the backside of our subdivision and chugged along at a pretty decent pace.

Coming around a corner I looked down and a split of 99 Peppermint was laying on the mulch in front of the row of bushes that accompanied the sidewalk. I found myself stopping because it looked like the plastic bottle hadn’t been opened, liquid still inside. I gently picked up the sin that has plagued my life for so long and it was empty. I came to and threw it back up in the bushed back to the darkness where it belonged. I walked off and continued on thinking, “I NEVER see any empty beer cans or liquor bottles in this neighborhood, it’s so pristine, that couldn’t have been a coincidence.” The fact that it was something I was known for, anything peppermint, got me thinking.

The want and desperation of seeing it and picking it up were thrilling and felt wrong. Once I realized what was in my hands I felt anger and threw it because that was my old life. If any remnants of it were present, I fear my old motive was to have been, drink it, it won’t hurt anything. Oh, how wrong that statement is, it only starts a very ugly behavior to only be played out in selfishness.

I was happy with myself that so quickly, my thoughts changed and I immediately thanked God for this day, the walk I was on, the sun shining on my face, and the clarity to know what good comes out of His strength in my weakness.

The rest of the walk was a little tough, I am definitely not as in shape as I could be, but that’s a work in progress. I should be proud of my little accomplishments towards a healthier and better life found in God. I want to clean up His temple and give my whole self to Him. His will be done. I am overjoyed with the fact I am noticing these things with His help.

As I entered the house, sweat dripping off my beat red face, I felt a little bit of comfort knowing I can do this and it’s not harming my body. The cold shower I took afterward felt rewarding. The cup of coffee and my “God time” felt amazing knowing I was delighting in His gifts and consuming His Word which keeps me going. I am in awe of the changes that have happened thus far and am so excited to see where He takes me on this journey and self-discovery once again. It’s going to be amazing.

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