I can’t believe it’s been since the beginning of July since I wrote. What is up with that?! Well, I’ll tell you …
I’ve been trying out new medication since then and it’s been a little bit of a journey. To start, it helped me sleep and has also kept me on a straight and narrow middle ground. The only issue I’ve noticed is that my anxiety is getting worse. A whole lot worse. I am extremely irritable, and completely on edge and everything makes me angry. It’s like a constant buzzing of nerves that won’t go away. I’m talking to my doctor as we speak because I can’t take it anymore. There is always something that is thrown off when trying to adjust meds.
I am hoping for a solution because it’s making my day-to-day very difficult. I am short with everyone and then feel horrible about it. I worry about any and everything. I’m having intrusive thoughts about myself again that won’t go away. I’m obsessing over everything and my concentration is a joke. I can’t seem to focus on anything.
So you can imagine how hard it is to sit and type this. I just want to make myself aware of when things like this happen. I’m sleeping too much … eating too much … and not healthily enough. I have been refusing to go on walks or do anything to help myself. It’s just becoming a lot.
Good news? I do have a few things.
Our final trial against my ex-husband has gone through in our favor. My son and I are completely safe from any antics he may have from now until Eddie is of age. I am beyond thankful for the decisions that have been made in this case.
I’ve been offered a position at a doggie daycare right down the road. I am super stoked and can’t wait to get started. It’s part-time to start so I can begin fresh and build a routine.
I’ve joined the PTA at my son’s school and I’m over the moon that I get to participate in something meaningful, besides the online women’s ministry I volunteer for. I’m super excited to begin helping out in the mornings.
Eddie and I have a Mommy and Me outing with his school later this month at Dave & Buster’s. He is looking forward to this and keeps looking on the calendar to see how many days. He LOVES arcades and I figured this would give us Mommy/Son time.
Of all that is going on in my life, I have so many things to be thankful for and am so blessed with. It almost makes the negative not seem so bad. I know that meds can be sorted out and it’s not always a quick fix. As long as I concentrate on what the Lord has provided and continues to provide daily, I can make it through.
I’m glad I decided to write.