I have been looking forward to this interview for a week or so now. It’s a stay-at-home position taking appointments for PetSmart, all inbound, and pays decently. I normally go into things like this extremely nervous but for some reason, I went in with so much confidence and like I already got the job. I got the job. It went smoothly, it felt like talking to an old friend and I can tell it’s all because of you, Vraylar. Let me be a spokeswoman for that medication, I’ll do it. Works so well, you get hired at PetSmart!

It’s a full-time position and I got to pick the scheduled hours and two days I would like right off the bat. They are awesome, needless to say. I was pumped, it made me feel so good to be asked three scenario questions and then be offered the job. I am proud of myself. I need to keep saying that because of course, even when something good happens, stupid shit always seems to follow that brings me down just a little bit.

I sent a text to my manager at Pet Paradise about what had happened and said I wanted to put two weeks in and keep it in good standing. I like that place, and the job is wonderful, but something fell in my lap that was betterment for my life. I explained I would love to continue there until the end of the month. Not an hour later I received an email with the new schedule and I was nowhere on it. I didn’t receive a text back, or anything. So you know what?! FUCK IT. I did what I was supposed to and if they want to act that way, I’m done.

That threw me off and made me feel upset and I tried to come back from it. It’s hard, my mental state is still off while I try to heal and fix things in my life. Then Dad comes home from work and I go into the kitchen and he goes, “Oh, I thought you were at work.” I told him no, that I normally have Wednesdays and Thursdays off, but I am not working there anymore. I have a new job. I explain it to him and of course, being the Debby downer he always is goes, “Oh, so no more socialization then I guess…” WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! I’m so sick of pettiness and attitudes and not being enough.

This is why I don’t because everyone backstabs a bitch anyway. I’ve had it. I don’t need anyone but my son and Patrick and a select few others in my family. I’m at a point where I don’t give a fuck about who likes me, or what anyone is to think of me because obviously it’s never mattered anyway and I just have to accept that.

Patrick. That man cares. He is proud of me. He understands me more than anyone I’ve ever met. I can’t explain how I ended up with him but I won’t ever lose this. I won’t let it happen. It would be literally suicide to lose a man like him. Nothing stands in my way, not even me anymore.

He took me up to Culvers and I said I wanted a concrete mixer, and he goes, “To celebrate your new job”. He hugged me tight as I smoothed the back of his hair against his head. I love the way he feels pressed against me. His lips reached mine and the gentle kiss was exactly what I needed. He told me no matter what, he will always take care of me and my family. What? How? Yup, I still can’t understand it either. My heart swoons.