I started my new job and it has now been a week and two days. I have to say, even though there is so much information to remember, it’s not that bad. I thought I was going to have more of a problem with it than I have. I’m not going to lie, I do constantly replay the conversations I had with pet parents in my head because I’m not sure I did them right. Who knows? I suppose that is what training is for. I have a total of 5 weeks to “mess up” or “get things wrong” before they start to count. The only thing that totally got me is I was only in training one week before beginning calls yesterday. WHO DOES THAT?

I know it’s like a throw to the wolves type of thing, but if I can get my barring now, I should be fine in the long run. I have had so many call center jobs and haven’t gotten past the first call. Here I felt comfortable after the first one and took about 5-6 in total in an hour’s worth of time. Two of them were multiple reservations, like 8 in total one and 4 the other. That’s just revenue for me and that feels really good. I had a cancellation for a salon appointment and just a boarding reservation (which we weren’t supposed to make, but did anyway). I felt confident. I felt confident in what I was saying even when I wasn’t sure if I was saying the right thing at all.

Do you know how hard it is to follow a flow chart? It’s NOT easy. Constantly going back and forth to hopefully make sure you are saying the right thing is hard. I get lost in it all and forget when to ask mandatory security questions, which worries me. I have to remember, I’ve only been on the phone one day and only for an hour. My whole shift will be 8 hours of this, so there is plenty of time to perfect my game.

I was sitting here reading Max Lucado’s new book, “Help Is Here”, and while reading I started to think about my worries about the job. This book is about allowing the holy spirit to come into your life and take over. I prayed to ask Him for release of the worries and concerns of this job and just give it to Him. I want this job to be a good thing in my life and I finally want to not screw something up right out the gate. It worries me that I won’t be able to hold a job and help out with rent. This is what is “scaring” me into doing what I have to in order to be a good wife and mother. That felt so good to say … I am again a wife to an amazing man and a mother to the sweetest boy I could’ve asked for.

That made my day. I’m sitting in the Christmas-decorated living room of my Mom and Dad’s house, listening to jazz, and it is so relaxing. I needed this before work starts. My schedule is from 10-6:30 and it’s only because we have to go by Arizona time, so of course, I am two hours ahead. Ugh. I hate starting the day when it’s bright outside and ending in total darkness. It makes me feel like my whole day was wasted. That will be my permanent shift starting after training. I’ll have Thursdays and Sundays, which is nice. I get my day of rest on the day of rest and a random say during the week. The thing is, it won’t make a difference, Patrick works M-F so I’m left to a day by myself to do whatever. That makes me wish I could just drive and get out by myself.

There are things I feel like I regret in my life, but they happened for a reason and I think I would’ve gotten in a LOT more trouble if I did have my license during the fall of my drinking phase. I needed to have that security that I couldn’t go anywhere unless I Ubered and that was a thing when I had a job for a while. I’m done with it all. I no longer wish for any of that or feel the need for any of that. Thank God. My story is complicated but at least I made it through without dying.

I can’t wait to make my one year of sobriety. I am determined that I won’t mess up anymore because this life is too good to waste now. I just want to be everything I haven’t been for the last decade. That means being proud of myself when I do something I thought I couldn’t do because of the lack of faith in myself. If I have faith in Jesus, that means I have faith in myself because He is there with me every second of my day. I have to remember that.

I am looking forward to Thanksgiving. We get that day off, which is nice. Four-day weeks are always a treat considering Eddie is off from tomorrow until the following Monday. I feel bad I won’t be of those other two days but I am doing this for him. We will be better off in the long run. I know it.

We are having a small get-together, just my parents, Pat and Eddie, and my grandparents. It won’t be a huge gathering, which I am not a fan of anyway. I can’t wait to watch The Macy’s Day Parade with Eddie. Bluey will be in it this year and I know I am way more excited about it than Eddie. He watches it with me, but I am a fan. The Purina National Dog Show is another one we enjoy watching. Go Husky! I have been watching these things since I was a wee girl with my Papa and to have these little traditions to do with Eddie is such a privilege. We always wave to Santa at the end of the parade, pretty much bringing Christmas front and center.

I have so many things I want to get through and rush and I keep telling myself not to because I know I’ll be sad once I am no longer living here with my son. The one thing I’m not happy about is having to work on Saturdays because that just takes one of my weekend days away from being with Eddie. I may have a chat with my actual supervisor once I get that chance and kind of discuss my issue and if there is any way to change that up at some point. I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot but my son always comes first. I just hope they understand that as well.

I don’t want to think about work when I’m not there but the schedule doesn’t help me at all. Lord, please take these worries, I feel like I keep asking and they are just still there. I know there is nothing for me to worry about so I just wonder why I can’t stop. If there is any way at all you can stop this please, I would appreciate it. You will help me through anything, you helped me through such crucial parts of my life I know this is something you can do too. Amen.

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