So lately I mentioned I have been feeling like I need to find Peace in my life and these are the verses that I have been majorly brought to.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – John 14:27 (NIV)

I like this one because I am constantly troubled and afraid, even if I don’t mention it or show it. It’s really hard to receive this type of peace and I think looking for it may be the reason why I can’t just receive it for whatever reason.

“Now may the LORD of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The LORD be with all of you.” – 2 Thessalonians 3:16 (NIV)

If that were true, my worries, fears, and whatever else wouldn’t be out of wack. How do I find this peace? How do I just “receive” it? It doesn’t work like that, not on this earth. These feelings are hard to have because I know they contradict the text, but I can’t help it.

Here’s something one of the devotionals said, “Peace is not found by escaping reality; peace is found by entering the presence of Jesus.”

I mean, I can pray all day long, but this peace is not happening. Why. I must be doing something wrong.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” -John 16:33 (NIV)

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you.” -Isaiah 26:3 (NIV)

It’s a blessing to know he has overcome this world, but why can’t I overcome my fears and worries? I go to Him in prayer and ask for it and then I get extremely anxious and nervous again. I am not giving myself over to the devil, I just don’t know if it’s my belief or lack of. It’s not on purpose, but what else am I supposed to do? I ask for the love of Christ almost daily, I do forget, I am but human. I just want to know why.

Things unanswered on this side of heaven … sucks.

“The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.” -Numbers 6:24-26 (NIV)

I know he does, and thinking of him shining like the sun, really does make me feel a little bit of peace and happiness. I can take a moment in the now and feel this grateful peace. He loves me so much that he is offering his peace, I need to just clear my head of the worry and accept it. Help me accept this peace, Lord, it’s been so difficult, and maybe not at all. When I think of the way you’ve helped me make it on phone calls for work, it makes me feel like I may not be that much of a failure.

My mind won’t get off of the whole work thing. We see where this worry makes everything I am trying to do even worse.

“Peace depends on whoever and whatever you follow!” -Random quote

I do try and follow Christ, so what gives?

“The LORD is my Shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” -Psalm 23:1-4

I really like our Shepherd’s prayer. It all makes sense and goes with EVERYONE’s situation. We all walk through some really dark and deep valleys in our lives and yet, there is light ahead and the green pastures which we will eventually make it to as long as we follow the light. What a great way to see this passage.

“Before I was afflicted I went astray but now I obey your word.” -Psalms 119:67 (NIV)

This was the last one I wrote down because it is true, I did go astray for a very long time. I am trying so hard to obey his word. For a while, I started worrying about not being married and being yoked. I am now married and that only means that Patrick has been saved because of it. I will always pray for him and that he might see the way that is the only way. I used to worry about that, but I don’t any longer. Hopefully, there might be a change.

Peace is there, I’m just a little confused about the process. 

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