It’s the truth, you know. People who are supposed to be in your life will be. I’m so thankful for one of our dear friends who has never questioned or thought any less of us. She’s a beautiful soul and has so much to offer. Sometimes going through the situations of daily life can be stressful. Having a place to come for safety and like-minded qualities is something so precious to me. I’m thankful for you, Em.
She’s explained a lot of good ways to get over some of the heart ache. For one, instead of responding the way I want to when he is unreasonable. I was suggested to just screen shot it and then write out exactly what’s on my mind and send it to her. Having someone to respond is so much better than not. I’ve also been given the advice to seek out a victims advocate. I mean, it wouldn’t hurt. As much as I want to say I don’t need one, or that I’ve found one in her, which I really have, I know having a backup is always a good thing.
To have someone who has always been so close to me since I’ve met her, even in times of distance, it’s beautiful. I feel like pieces of my life are falling back into place. I’m looking up and picking them from the night sky and constructing something I can hold again. Me. My life. My sanity. Clarity. True love and happiness. Each piece I grab after feels secured, it no longer slips through my loose, weak grip. I’m stronger and have sought after the things that actually matter the most to me. I was so scared my life would never come back to this. I was so wrong. I know now how capable I am of finding my own happiness and truly deserving it.
So on that note. I came up with the brilliant plan… Okay, can’t take the credit. I’m not sure who, but they whispered to me, “Bets. Why don’t you set up a picnic and ask Eddie if he wants to eat lunch outside?” Awesome plan, so thanks. Eddie was over the moon to do this with us. I love love love when he gets so excited over simple yet meaningful things.
We went into the kitchen and he told me he wanted a bologna sandwich with chips. I also suggested some baby carrots and ranch, which he absolutely did not turn down. I love my adventurous eater. For being 4, he’s got a very refined palate. So I made our turkey sandwich and chips, grabbed two kit kats from the freezer, and headed outside.
He laid down the lemon blanket underneath the tree and we unpacked and had such a nice time just bonding, laughing, and talking. I took some pictures, which of course, I will share. It’s times like these that I wonder if he will remember years from now. “Remember that one time we had a picnic under the tree at Nonnie’s?” You can just tell the memories that really stick.
We moved the blanket into the sun after and just kind of relaxed and talked about God’s beautiful creation. If there’s anything that I will do, it’s instill the love and safety of Christ into him. I want him to be brought up the way I have and realize everything is so much bigger than it seems. He’s what makes me want to be a good person and strive for so much more. Eddie needs to know he will always be safe and always be cared for. Even if I have to do it alone. So be it. He’s such a loved child.
I hope everyone can take advantage of days like these. Ones that bring happiness, life, and love. I know I have and so excited for more to come. -Bets